The people I’ve met in Bournemouth don’t tend to take me as seriously as I need them to in certain situations. I have an insane amount of anxieties regarding the silliest things,
some of which I’m fairly sure have developed from being an animation student / social hermit, but I’ve always struggled with presentations and public speaking in particular. So the idea of presenting a piece of work that I’m not at all proud of or confident in to a hall of ~120 people tomorrow isn’t my favourite thing. Honestly, people seem to be surprised that something like this affects me and I have no idea how I’ve given them the impression that I’m happy-go-lucky about this sort of thing but I’m really, really, not.
I get that people are trying to be supportive when they say ‘oh it’ll be okay, we’re all the same’ but we’re really not. Not when the brief was changed at last minute so that all those who had put off the assignment until then got an unfair advantage of being able to use professional equipment etc. And, man, I don’t even know. I’m so torn between feeling actually physically sick at the idea of presenting but at the same time I don’t want to jeopardise an unknown portion of my grade due to silly fears. This course feels so disorganised it’s painful. ‘I don’t know’ is not the answer your lecturer should be giving you when you ask how much something is weighted in an assignment. It’s not exactly reassuring either.
So I don’t know…… I don’t feel as though I can convince myself to go through with it. I’ve made notes for a presentation but we’ve been given no instruction on what it should contain or how it’ll go. I’ll sit through an hour to see how I feel but I don’t think I can stay for six hours waiting for my name to be called for something so shockingly embarrassing.
still waiting on further instruction on how to make boys next door out of assholes